Monday, January 7, 2008
We all have our fresh hopes for this year, right? and perhaps one of your dreams is to teach yourself and your family how to manage disagreements in a better and more loving way?
What? are you asking that fights can not be pleasant? Mmmmmm, let me see what is the answer...
If you accept the basic premise that conflict is a way of learning about what has to be changed in your marriage, and not about "winning wars," then we are on the same page... Following this, then, we look at fights as a wonderful opportunity to get to know what the other side is now thinking, experiencing and needing.
Because, in the bottom line, all fights are about some frustrated needs. Needs for love, recognition, support, company, advice, tenderness....the list is endless. And we don't know how to express our needs in an efficient way; either because we are ashamed or humiliated for "having to beg for something the other is supposed to know about us and provide without our asking..."
So we initiate a fight, which is nothing out of the normal ways people behave. Everybody considers having a fight the good way to have some solution for hidden needs. The problem in love is that, as much as you fight for having your own needs solved, you attack and destroy the same relationship you need so much!
To avoid being carried away by hostility, anger and frustration, and end up insulting the person you love most, is that some researchers have offered a neat plan to be able to fight without rancour or excessive acrimony.
It is called FAIR FIGHTING, and it provides a set of norms or rules to follow when having a confrontation with your loved one. Remember, the point here is not to "win," but to preserve the relationship by having the two sides listening to each other needs.
Care to get a look at the method? It is described here:
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Make Love a Priority in 2008 – Chris Walker
Today, love without expectation. Appreciate someone you dislike, appreciate someone you fear, love someone you left behind. Appreciate people knowing tomorrow may never come, and that the deepest regret any human being can have is to hold back their love, even for a second.
Today, appreciate all those people that you love or have loved. Drink a glass of fresh water to their beauty, their gifts and their ways. Hope and wish that today and everyday, they are happy and healthy wish them long life. What else could love be, but the wish for someone else’s happiness?
Global change begins with personal change
Love is cumulative. Make every day of your life a Valentine’s Day. Act like today is the most important day of your relationship. Turn up on time. Do something kind. Prioritize your lover over your work. All compromises in a relationship add to its demise. Your relationship is the most important thing in your life. Stay humble. Be thankful, you’ll never loose what you appreciate.
A loving home is one of the most important keys to happiness
Try taking time to sit quietly in nature daily and imagine how much you appreciate life. Learn to admire people rather than wanting to change them. Find contentment within yourself, appreciating yourself by appreciating others. Remind yourself everyday that there is absolutely nothing to change in your partner, only something to love.
Build each day on a foundation of pleasant thoughts by always looking for the two sides. There are two sides to everything and everyone, so know the balance then simply focus on the positive. People become as you treat them. So acknowledge their gifts. Let the negatives take care of themselves. Remind yourself that through the power of thought, you can make the world a better place.
More love at home – a brighter future for the world
A magnificent key to creating a harmonious, lasting and sacred relationship is to understand that a loving person treats both those they like, and those they dislike, with respect. This is the spiritual aspect of it all. The true test comes when we are asked to love those who hurt us, those who are unkind to us. To be in love we can’t pretend to be loving and open hearted to one person, and judgmental and protective to one another. Love is a way of living, an attitude from which we choose a relationship and our way of making the world a better place, one heart at a time.
Never again clutter your days or nights with so much "business" and unimportant things that you have no time to be in love. If you can be in tune with your own mind and the rhythms of nature, then one moment standing with your partner in the midst of nature with an open heart is like a lifetime of fulfillment.
All of life is a miracle. The order of nature, the revolution of a hundred million words around a million of suns, the activity of light, the life of animals, all are grand and perpetual miracles. Voltaire
Chris Walker was an international business consultant up until he saw how relationships were suffering because of business and how much we needed to redefine our priorities around work and life. Chris has written over 30 books including Sacred Love. Visit SacredLovethebook.com and get your copies now. Excerpted from: Expect More From 2008, Page 7