Neil Warner

Neil Warner

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Is cheating on your spouse caused by genetics?

Why do some men and women cheat on their partners while others resist the temptation?  We have thought all this time that the answer was located on individual will and degrees of individual sexual motivations....can it be determined by other variables?
A new body of research focuses on the "science of commitment." Scientists are studying everything from the biological factors that seem to influence marital fidelity to a person’s psychological response after flirting with a stranger.
Recent studies have raised questions about whether genetic factors may influence commitment and marital stability. Hasse Walum, a biologist at the Karolinska Institute in Sweden, studied 552 sets of twins to learn more about a gene related to the body’s regulation of the brain chemical vasopressin, a bonding hormone.
Over all, men who carried a variation in the gene were less likely to be married, and those who had wed were more likely to have had serious marital problems and unhappy wives. Among men who carried two copies of the gene variant, about a third had experienced a serious relationship crisis in the past year, double the number seen in the men who did not carry the variant. 
If there was such an easy explanation, like genetic predisposition, why do we humans see cheating as a moral issue? This is interesting research, but we need to know more to be able to leave cheaters off the moral obligation they violated, right? 

Monday, September 20, 2010

More stress being single than married?

Are you more vulnerable to life stresses
 if you are single?

A recent study has found that being married or in a committed romantic relationship alters hormones in a way that manages stress and brings a relaxed response to it. 
Is it probably because having a partner produces a sense of support and companionship with which to face life challenges? There is research supporting this point produced by Dario Maestripieri, at the University of Chicago
"The results suggest that single and unpaired individuals are more responsive to psychological stress than married individuals, a finding consistent with a growing body of evidence showing that marriage and social support can buffer against stress."
The cortisol levels (stress hormone) of single students were higher than those of their married counterparts...This research doesn't discriminate on the married life quality of non-single students; we know nothing of the variations according to the degree of companionship and support obtained from marriage, only that the fact of being married and not single helps a lot.
 Willing to manage your stress better by making your marriage work?  What about reading more about healthy relationships?

Monday, September 13, 2010

A successful marriage requires personal growth and development

We all need a lot of help if we wish to have lasting, loving marriages. Even from the world of business leadership, there are voices giving positive indications. For example, Shundrawn Thomas tells us that:
"While character is important, the ability to mold that character is paramount as well, Thomas said, drawing a parallel to marriage. “Are you still married to the same person you married five years ago? You’re probably not. You wouldn’t still be married. A successful marriage requires personal growth and development.

“This thought in your head that you can’t be anything different that what you were — if that is the position you take, you will not be effective as a leader.”

Does he mean that we need something similar to a business plan for our marriages? probably yes! At least, the assumption that a performing marriage is a contract based on the simultaneous development of both spouses, as people, is clear. Why and how we confuse ourselves thinking that we can continue as the same person we were ten years ago when the whole world is evolving around us? Perhaps because marriage is seen, basically as a refuge from life. 

Nothing can be farther from the truth, in is either both keep growing up and developing together, or one is left behind and as the gap grows, the estrangement between spouses grows, up until the "irreconcilable differences" perception settles in.